Rheumatoid Arthritis Complications
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How can I stop grieving and having the same continuous nightmares?
I am 23 in the military overseas and as such I have been away from my family back home for several years.
My grandparents took a huge part in raising me, but now they are all passed on. My real father left before I was born, so my grandfather was my father, and I loved him as one. February of this year he died of complications from Melanoma while in a diabetic coma.
I used to call him every day and now I feel at such a loss and I cannot stop grieving, thinking of him, in his broken state and the terrible suffering he put up with from all the drugs, the chemotherapy and his rheumatoid arthritis.
The thing that kills me the most is, being a guy, I don’t think that I ever really put it to him how important he was to me. He was very much an abandoned person, he lived alone after my grandmother passed for 8 years.
Now I cannot sleep, I am afraid to sleep from the continuous nightmares about him and others that plague me. What can I do? How can I ever come to terms with his death?
You are still grieving. It is normal to feel guilty about things after our loved ones have passed. You go through a lot of emotions and you always wonder if the person knew how much you loved them. My Aunt raised me from a baby after my mother pretty much didn’t want me and I never knew my father. My Aunt lost her leg due to diabetes and died a few months later. You always go through those thoughts of why didn’t I do this when they asked me. Did I hurt their feelings when I didn’t call? You have to not think about those things and remember the good times.
I don’t know how old your grandfather was but if he lived a long life then that was a blessing. We can only hope that we will live that long and get to experience a full life. Have faith that he is in a better place with no pain and suffering. Here is one of my favorite poems that I included in my Aunt’s obituary. I hope it helps.
The Day God Called You Home
God looked around his Garden and found an empty place.
He then looked down upon his earth and saw your loving face.
He put his arms around you and lifted you to rest.
His Garden must be beautiful, he always takes the best.
He knew that you were suffering, he knew you were in pain.
And knew that you would never get well on earth again.
He saw your path was difficult, he closed you tired eyes,
He whispered to you “Peace be Thine” and gave you wings to fly.
When we saw you sleeping so calm and free of pain,
We would not wish you back to earth to suffer once again.
You’ve left us precious memories, your love will be our guide,
You live on through your children, you’re always by our side.
It broke our hearts to lose you, but you did not go alone.
For part of us went with you on the day God called you home.
Rheumatoid Arthritis A Cure For Rheumatoid Arthritis Part 3